The Mancave - Male Bonding
A Group for guys who like to kick back In the mancave with other guys,do guy stuff open up and bond as close bros. Guys that hang out naked or get naked with no judgements, no labels we're all just brothers. And what what happens in the mancave stays in the mancave!between buds!
- created by thewolverine
Gay/Straight Roomie Situation
Return to DiscussionsHey guys! I wanted to talk about my current situation and maybe get some advice.......
My roomie Derek and I have been friends for a long time. He knows I'm gay and he knows I'm a nudist yet he was the one to suggest we live together. This was a while back. Derek's straight but has never been uptight and sorta just quietly accepted that I would be naked around the house. Out of respect, right at first, I didn't get TOO naked TOO often. But of course that has worn down and I'm just naked all the time now at home.
Derek like I said has never been uptight. For the longest time, he never cared if I saw him in his underwear, but he never went out of his way to be in his underwear around me, if that makes sense. Sometimes I would catch him naked post-shower or on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, or whatever. Like he could change his clothes around me if the situation called for it.
About a couple of months ago, Derek started being in his underwear around me more. We'd watch TV or play video games, or what have you. And now in the last couple of weeks, he's started being naked. It started off slow, like coming to the kitchen in the morning for coffee, or going to the bathroom even when he knew I was up and could see him. Now, he's as naked as I am. We spend our days off hanging out naked around the house, or doing housework or whatever.
I caught him jacking off on the couch a few days ago, and he finished because I walked in on him right when he was about done. He just laughed it off and even though he did blush a little he didn't seem TOO concerned. Well, so I set it up for him to catch me, and kind of just hung out and watched, and said that since I caught him and saw him cum, it was only fair if he saw me cum. I mean, I'm paraphrasing a little. But he stood there and watched me finish.
Last night, he walked into my room and caught me jacking off again. He didn't say anything, but he also didn't stay and watch. But this morning, he was in the shower and I told him I had to come in and take a leak. He said "Ok" so he knew I was there. While I was peeing, I could see in the mirror's reflection that he was beating off in the shower! Like right behind me basically. I told him I could see him and he laughed. When I was done and whatnot, I turned around to fling open the curtain. He wasn't beating off, but his dick was still really hard. I teased him that he didn't have to stop on my account, and he told me he finished already! Like WHILE I was taking a piss.
Now, I would let Derek fuck me if he wanted to, and I would love to suck him off. But I am also pragmatic and managing my expectations. But, I guess I'm wondering where this is going with him. Like where his newfound sense of all this is coming from, is he just learning off me? Getting more comfortable with me? Like I said, I'd love to do all there is to do with him, but at the very least, I'd love to jack off with him. Does anyone have advice or think that's a possibility? Just throwing this out there to get some other perspectives I guess!
Its also entirely possible that he's just getting comfortable with nudity and isnt as inhibited as before. He also knows that your gay and figures you wont be uptight about walking in on him jerking off. And its also possible that he's testing you or even leaning towards fooling around. He could even be hoping that you will initiate something.
I wouldn't push it. Whatever happens or doesn't happen has to be at his pace. If your the aggressor and he has second thoughts, you could end up being the bad guy.
I completely agree with you that nudity and male bonding doesn't need to dictate sexual preference. However, the jerking off together throws me a bit. It could be that you are both just very comfortable with each other - which is awesome! Sounds like you are open enough with each other that you could talk to him about sexuality. Maybe have that conversation while clothed (if you two ever have clothing on around each other anymore). And, that conversation doesn't need to be "are you gay? want to fuck me?" as I'm sure you know. Bring up the kinsey scale and the recent movie, where played Dr. Kinsey. I think you have a pretty good thing going. No NEED to push it further - but, if it would enhance the relationship / male bonding, and if he's open to it, it might be worth a conversation. I disagree with the "put some porn on and see where it goes approach." But that is certainly one approach. Let us know how it goes. Good luck.
Thanks everyone for the added advice and support! I figured it was high time for an update!
Honestly, overall, not much has changed. It's just...more of it, I guess? Derek has gotten really fucking comfortable with nudity. It seems like a complete non-issue for him, much like it is for me. He doesn't seem shy at all about getting chubbed up or even a full erection around me. I mean, he was pretty well that way when I wrote my original post, but it's gotten to the point where he's even more relaxed about it. It's hard to describe because it's very nuanced. Like, he doesn't blush or act goofy when he gets a hardon anymore. Like before, sometimes he'd make a joke about it to diffuse the situation, or just the way he would stand or sit. It's just...little things, I guess, in his behavior that sort of add up.
He recently bought a pack of underwear at WalMart. When he got home, he realized that he grabbed briefs instead of boxerbriefs like he intended. Still, he shrugged and opened them anyway. He COULD have taken them back. Or hell, he could have given them to me! LOL Honestly, I'm on the fence as to whether it was truly an accident that he grabbed briefs. On one hand, I've seen the WalMart underwear aisle, and it's usually a fucking mess. I myself have grabbed something that I didn't want, but I realized it in-store, you know? Like, I looked at the packaging more closely. At the same time, Derek knows I have a thing for men in briefs. But also at the same time, it's not like I see him in his underwear that much these days! LOL I don't know if any of that is pertinent, but I found it interesting.
We've caught each other jerking off a few times now. Usually it's him catching me because I'm far less discreet about it. I'll lay on top of my covers with the light on. LOL He's come into my room a few times and has caught me jacking off. Once, I stopped to smoke a little weed with him, and I kept my dick hard. I was hoping he would suggest something or urge me to finish, but he didn't. Twice, I just kept going and he wandered over to my nightstand to help himself to a couple hits of my weed before heading to bed. I didn't cum in time. Once though, I was close when he walked in, and I kept going and managed to shoot my load all over myself with him standing there smoking some weed. He always just kind of laughs about it, not seeming offended but also not seeming horny about it either.
I've caught him twice. Once was on the couch in the middle of the night, with only the TV on. He had just started jacking, and it didn't seem like he was going to continue with me there, so I left him to it. The other time was in the shower again, and he was far enough along/obscured enough that he finished. I didn't really get to SEE it.
Something also of note is that he trimmed his pubic hair with the bathroom door wide open, then proceeded to ask me if I thought he did a good job. I mean... He also showed me part of a straight porn he watched on his phone. The reason was because the guy in the scene was a buff, black, mountainous hottie with a huge dick, and he knows that's my weakness. LOL
So like I said, not much has changed, it's just more of it. I'm really starting to think there's more curiosity in him than I originally thought. Primarily because he knows I go jack off in my room after we hang out naked, and yet he still wanders in to smoke some weed. He doesn't do it every night, but it's enough that he should know that's what's going on in there.
Hey guys! I wanted to talk about my current situation and maybe get some advice.......My roomie Derek and I have been friends for a long time. He knows I'm gay and he knows I'm a nudist yet he was the one to suggest we live together. This was a while back. Derek's straight but has never been uptight and sorta just quietly accepted that I would be naked around the house. Out of respect, right at first, I didn't get TOO naked TOO often. But of course that has worn down and I'm just naked all the time now at home.Derek like I said has never been uptight. For the longest time, he never cared if I saw him in his underwear, but he never went out of his way to be in his underwear around me, if that makes sense. Sometimes I would catch him naked post-shower or on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, or whatever. Like he could change his clothes around me if the situation called for it.About a couple of months ago, Derek started being in his underwear around me more. We'd watch TV or play video games, or what have you. And now in the last couple of weeks, he's started being naked. It started off slow, like coming to the kitchen in the morning for coffee, or going to the bathroom even when he knew I was up and could see him. Now, he's as naked as I am. We spend our days off hanging out naked around the house, or doing housework or whatever.I caught him jacking off on the couch a few days ago, and he finished because I walked in on him right when he was about done. He just laughed it off and even though he did blush a little he didn't seem TOO concerned. Well, so I set it up for him to catch me, and kind of just hung out and watched, and said that since I caught him and saw him cum, it was only fair if he saw me cum. I mean, I'm paraphrasing a little. But he stood there and watched me finish.Last night, he walked into my room and caught me jacking off again. He didn't say anything, but he also didn't stay and watch. But this morning, he was in the shower and I told him I had to come in and take a leak. He said "Ok" so he knew I was there. While I was peeing, I could see in the mirror's reflection that he was beating off in the shower! Like right behind me basically. I told him I could see him and he laughed. When I was done and whatnot, I turned around to fling open the curtain. He wasn't beating off, but his dick was still really hard. I teased him that he didn't have to stop on my account, and he told me he finished already! Like WHILE I was taking a piss.Now, I would let Derek fuck me if he wanted to, and I would love to suck him off. But I am also pragmatic and managing my expectations. But, I guess I'm wondering where this is going with him. Like where his newfound sense of all this is coming from, is he just learning off me? Getting more comfortable with me? Like I said, I'd love to do all there is to do with him, but at the very least, I'd love to jack off with him. Does anyone have advice or think that's a possibility? Just throwing this out there to get some other perspectives I guess!
He'll make a move if he is interested, wait for him to be definite about it...then just take it easy and enjoy
....Something also of note is that he trimmed his pubic hair with the bathroom door wide open, then proceeded to ask me if I thought he did a good job. ...
this sounds encouraging in that he is not just caught up un the heat of masturbation but calmly asked you to look at his penis.
i agree with most of what has been said. he definitely seems to be experimenting. go slow but keep making sure he knows you are open. i aslo agree with what was said about the beauty of your penis. if he is interested in men at all i am sure he is interested in you. however, he may not be ready for you to touch him yet.
at this point i think you could ask if he wants to masturbate with you. not sure you need the porn angle any more.
your roommate has made these changes without your coaching. He maybe developing a bisexual interest. I like the other guy's idea on watch gay porn together as it may arouse his interest to experiment with you. I think his changes has strengthen his bond with you. I would avoid suggesting the idea to him it may damage the bond that has been growing.
does he have sex with females in your home?
Wayne
That is a very good question. Does he bring girls over or have a gf? IF not, perhaps he's not interested in girls, or is just single, or has an inner bi he's letting out.
I have been in this situation with friends many many many many times. I'm openly nude, and free. Compassionate, bi, and humorous are things that dudes like... I'm not awkward...anyway, In all my my experiences with dudes whom I believe are really straight...some married to chicks and have kids, they have explored their man to man side with me, been very comfortable knowing I'll keep their secret and respect their boundaries.
Here's my advice. Bro, keep your heart and emotions in check. He may love you but that is insane to even consider with a dude like he is. Yea Yea, he loves you as a brother and a friend...but not as a lover. Just let him be himself...and you focus on being yourself. With this in play, things will happen organically. Smoke some weed, watch some porn, lube up and stroke together...then each other. It's just that easy. Never talk about bottoming for him until it's so obvi he wants your ass that you should resist so he has to work for it!
Anyway man, I'd happy moderate and accelerate the experience with him, as a bi nudist I know we would all just let it out. Private me if you'd like more advise...Peace