A Swingers Diary
Somewhere to tell us of your experiences, fantasies and aspirations as they arise, and for others to comment on them or add to them.
- created by Ollygrumps
Dilemma !
Return to DiscussionsA month or so ago I joined a group dedicated to nudism on Facebook. Apart from organizing gatherings at beaches and pools, the group also organizes movie sessions where everyone is asked to strip. I took part in one of those sessions and I must say that in the beginning I felt a bit uncomfortable, not because I was around strangers, but because those strangers had amongst themselves created a strong sense of a community and I felt a bit like an outsider. We all took our clothes off pretty much at the same time and started watching the film. I was sitting in a chair whilst the other three were sitting on a made up couch they created on the floor. All of a sudden, two of the guys decided to go to the bathroom and I was alone with the owner of the place, the guy I have to say, I fancied.
I decided to move close to him and before I noticed we were caressing each others bodies. Then we kissed and the touching became more intimate. The other two guys showed up and while one wasnt very pleased with what was happening, the other guy, the oldest of the group, decided to join us. For the first time ever I found myself on a threesome, being kissed by two guys at once. Things escalated and I remember lying naked on the floor, and while one of them licked my body I was sucking the guy I fancied.
When the whole idea of the threesome became quite tiring, I asked the owner of the place if the two of us could move to a different place. I hope we could go to his bedroom but he told me that he had just moved in so we went to the bathroom, where things became even more intense and we both ended up cumming.
After that we joined the others in the living room and chat. While we were chatting I was trying to make sense of what had just happened and mostly, I was trying to understand if I had enjoyed it or not.
I havent had much luck when it comes to getting to know people on a more intimate level, I have pretty much convinced myself that Im just not someone people want to hang around with or have the chance to know better, therefore I have in a way been distancing myself from any chances of a possible close encounter, because every time I think that something will happen, it usually doesnt.
I guess that what Im trying to say,or ask, is: should I take part in more "movie sessions" like the one that escalated to the threesome ?
Has anyone ever faced a sort of similar dilemma ?
A month or so ago I joined a group dedicated to nudism on Facebook. Apart from organizing gatherings at beaches and pools, the group also organizes movie sessions where everyone is asked to strip. I took part in one of those sessions and I must say that in the beginning I felt a bit uncomfortable, not because I was around strangers, but because those strangers had amongst themselves created a strong sense of a community and I felt a bit like an outsider. We all took our clothes off pretty much at the same time and started watching the film. I was sitting in a chair whilst the other three were sitting on a made up couch they created on the floor. All of a sudden, two of the guys decided to go to the bathroom and I was alone with the owner of the place, the guy I have to say, I fancied.I decided to move close to him and before I noticed we were caressing each others bodies. Then we kissed and the touching became more intimate. The other two guys showed up and while one wasnt very pleased with what was happening, the other guy, the oldest of the group, decided to join us. For the first time ever I found myself on a threesome, being kissed by two guys at once. Things escalated and I remember lying naked on the floor, and while one of them licked my body I was sucking the guy I fancied.When the whole idea of the threesome became quite tiring, I asked the owner of the place if the two of us could move to a different place. I hope we could go to his bedroom but he told me that he had just moved in so we went to the bathroom, where things became even more intense and we both ended up cumming.After that we joined the others in the living room and chat. While we were chatting I was trying to make sense of what had just happened and mostly, I was trying to understand if I had enjoyed it or not.I havent had much luck when it comes to getting to know people on a more intimate level, I have pretty much convinced myself that Im just not someone people want to hang around with or have the chance to know better, therefore I have in a way been distancing myself from any chances of a possible close encounter, because every time I think that something will happen, it usually doesnt.I guess that what Im trying to say,or ask, is: should I take part in more "movie sessions" like the one that escalated to the threesome ?Has anyone ever faced a sort of similar dilemma ?
I don't understand the problem. You played. It's a learning curve and you get out as much as you put it. I note that you are perhaps overly focused on where the play was and who had to be there or not be there and what rooms to use or not. In a private home, with the owner as host, it's generally not expected to go anywhere as one pleases although some do. Usually the front room is designated but the host and often friends may wander. It's a bit confusing and I don't run events this informally but group play is episodic, unpredictable, should not be goals oriented (I don't go expecting to come or even get an act completely done) and for me is about sharing with those present the ones who I find most attractive and least without offering those words or sentiments. I learn each time. Seems to me as if the event was fun for you. If you genuinely seek sex as you say and have been hard for finding it go on repeat explore and enjoy the moment.
Well,you do have a point,I mean,while I was writing this post I started thinking about how much of a control freak I think I sort of was,trying my best not to let myself go when the situation sort of asked for any boundaries to be forgotten. I guess that what Im trying to say is that having spent so much time without being intimate with someone I think that subscounsciouly my mind was so busy trying to process everything that was happening that I didnt enjoy the moment as much as I should have.
I guess that it is a little bit of both. I think that it kinda comes down to planning ... I mean,a couple of years ago I spent some days with an Englishman I met on another website, in the Algarve. While I can say that when we met each other for the first time, I believe that I already knew what was going to happen and so I was prepared to enjoy every single moment,I mean,I expected sex to happen and while I can say that sometimes I wasnt in control - and boy did I love not being in control - the most intimate moments werent unexpected (apart one moment when I woke up unexpectedly with a large juicy cock in my hands). This movie session turned into something pleasurable but I guess that I felt a bit uncomfortable so I didnt enjoy it as much as I should have.
Maybe my English friend can help me overcome some boundaries ... again :)
Is it down to planning or just accepting any new sexy experience as it happens? I approach life and sex with a try anything at least once frame of mind. Unpredictability can be exciting, just not knowing what might happen next. It can vary from loving to sensual to sexy to totally erotic.
I guess that it is a little bit of both. I think that it kinda comes down to planning ... I mean,a couple of years ago I spent some days with an Englishman I met on another website, in the Algarve. While I can say that when we met each other for the first time, I believe that I already knew what was going to happen and so I was prepared to enjoy every single moment,I mean,I expected sex to happen and while I can say that sometimes I wasnt in control - and boy did I love not being in control - the most intimate moments werent unexpected (apart one moment when I woke up unexpectedly with a large juicy cock in my hands). This movie session turned into something pleasurable but I guess that I felt a bit uncomfortable so I didnt enjoy it as much as I should have.Maybe my English friend can help me overcome some boundaries ... again :)
A little bit of planning is for most people useful, like choosing the right venue at the right time and having a sure thing arranged in advance with backup planning or someone to go with who's equally interested in playing with you and exploring outside that framework, and the most important thing is to agree on what is when, where is appropriate and not (like I prefer not to bring guests back to wherever we're sleeping even if its a room at an all male nude guesthouse, which may mean just not after 8 pm for example, or renting two rooms and using one for guests and groups and the other for sleeping only, having set times for us to get off together, or set scenarios in public cause its just more likely to work well when you know trust and practice it with a buddy, but also genuinely support each other's goals and ambitions otherwise. As for your enjoyment of letting go and losing control so to speak, of course there's more to experience and deeper pleasure to be had, and that story is a mile and ten dozen more past the first one in terms of self realization and growth so you should be damn proud. The only warning I have for you is the one I ignored thoroughly which is to remember to slow down and enjoy the trip rather than be too eagerly focused on getting fully comfortable and proud in that place you desire to be, because in that compulsion and determination which are admirable and understandable dont get me wrong, you rush (like I did more than once) fast and furious through the experience of growing and struggling a bit and the pleasure of that experience and when its done with, yeah, its good and you feel awesome but will miss the extra thrill and adrenaline that a bit of fear, anxiety, urgency, self doubt and self abandon you get to process in the moment and overcome provides. It doesn't hurt to take some time overcoming some of the boundaries both out of self care when they're not as easy or deeply involved emotionally and that is unique to each of us which ones are more than others this way, but also fun as fuck to draw it out and make it sleazy and dirty because both you and he enjoy that and want to... but that's just suggestions from my own experience and ultimately I think youre on the right path man.