Avoiding swinging friends

Hi all,



We are friends with a couple who are swingers. They have come into it a
few months before we did. The area where we live is small and chances of
running into them at parties is high. Any advice on how to avoid these
situations? We are not ready to be seeing them naked and having sex with
people. That's not where we want to take our friendship! There seem to
be a couple of nice underground groups that aren't advertised that they
have become a part of. I think they're feeling a little possessive of
their groups and don't want us trying to skate in on their coattails.
She actually said that to me (her husband worried about my husband
trying something like that). I told her that if we received an invite to
one of these "elite/pretty people" events it would be on our own merit (we're attractive and fun), not because we'd be
dropping their names. I know that if we receive an invite we would
need to ask our host if our friends have been invited also and then
decline to go if that's the case. My friend also mentioned that she
wouldn't want to have to turn down invitations to parties if she knew we
were going. They are in that new swinging stage and have done full swaps/groups, etc... and we've just had one
threesome. She admitted she's even felt a little jealous about sharing her favorite guy at these events.



I'm feeling like they are being selfish about not wanting to share their
newly found groups but I really don't want this to impact our vanilla
friendship. I imagine if word gets around that we can't play together,
then hosts can just invite one couple and not the other and the
uninvited couple doesn't have to know there was even a party planned. Is is common for others party members to invite guests without the hosts knowledge, if they have a tight relationship? I'd hate for the host to say that we could come because our friends won't be coming, but then find one of the other party members invited them. Ugh. Maybe I'm over thinking this. We just want to be able to have fun, too.
Thx

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