How do you practice Poly?
I am new here, and put it in my profile but my situation is this:
I'm a married mom of two kids. Last year, we were having some marriage problems and while separated from my husband, he began dating another woman. He and I reconciled and decided to stay married, but he also wanted to continue seeing her. I somewhat reluctantly agreed to this polyamorous arrangement, so that's how I ended up with this name. As part of all of this, his girlfriend introduced him to nudism. Now that we all live together, we are all starting to go nude more at home.
It's a bit of a complicated arrangement but I am trying to make it all work. I'd be interested to hear how others handle things,especiallyif you are new to it.
Hello my friend, forget about this planet for an instant, create your own poly planet, we are 3 and we have a great relationship in ours planet 3, Den and I 18 years together and with Hutan 5 years as a triple.
Is your life, is your heart, so you do what is good for you but yes, there is 2 only rules to us, TRUST, RESPECT, everything else is up in the air, you do what works for you.
Meaning, how is your primary and secondary's right now?Have any rules?
I don't think it's possible to make anything work without rules but it would depend on the other person and people. I think personally that it's reasonable and important to set rules for each other person and yourself and follow them with an unobtrusive and productive way to resolve conflict or deviation with the other... but I have less belief in the idea that we can expect to impose rules on others in thsir relationships with our partners. Like if two people are fucking and they're all good with it I am not going to expect either to be the same way as for me and truly will never impose anything or interfere with it... but I would talk about my feelings and how they affect me if needed when appropriate. I have done the training and work on jealousy and don't experience it anymore or more than a flash of weakness which I deal with. It is usually a joy to see my lover with others. And so much so. My idea of rules is like "be honest be kind be considerate and put yourself first without being arrogant or insecure about it but include me on helping you with exploring anything you want. I've always wanted to be able to serve and place the other men first and foremost and be better for it and respected and loved for it. I have experienced it with fuck buddies and I love it. The problem in relationships is that it resulted in abusive immature behavior and with a small amount of the direction applied by request of the other. They were insecure and felt undeserving and uninterested ultimately because strangers were easier for all purposes. I think it's totally ok for lovers to fuck strangers but not being ashamed of it and ignoring commitments and being abusive is not acceptable for them let alone me. Being a total submissive is not easy or less masculine anymore than being a total dominant is easy or more masculine. One is meaningless without the other. Both have a need for the other that's insurmountable. It's beautiful. I have experienced it with 5 guys regularly and it was amazing and very much enjoyed by all. I miss that so much.
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