As a man who has recently become comfortable with expressing my curiosity, I find that I can relate to how woman must feel sometimes. A great deal of men are extremely hyper sexual, and really have no concern for what you want at all. It's about what they want and it's a problem. I have not acted on my curiosities, but I can tell you this.....it won't happen until I'm ready and no amount of cock compliments, or flirting will change that.
I have found that older straight guys often drift into man on man experiences. I have known at least ten guys whom I found looking for a quick blow job, or wondering what a quick blow would be like. I think they all considered themselves straight. I bet some of them still do. But it always began the same way. What they wanted was my mouth on their penises. Nothing was better than feeling my warm, wet, slick, smooth mouth, lips, tongue and throat on their hard shafts. This sort of non recip service usually continued for months or even a couple of years. Then, in every case, at some point, the guy would begin to touch me more...want to grope me...want to play with my penis. Next, at some point he would want to take me into his mouth. Sometimes just a lick or kiss...but it got more important and more often...then 69. I was not in favor of this because I got the most pleasure out of sucking a penis, not by being sucked. However, as things always progressed, it began to feel good as they kept on experimenting with sucking me. I usually cannot get off very easily in a guy's mouth. Not that I don't like it, for I really do, but it usually is not the easiest way and it can interfere with the cock sucking that I want to do. Finally, each of them reached the point where I achieved an orgasm. The excitement of having a guy, a straight guy, sucking me, however inexpertly, would make be climax and ejaculate. It is easy for me to climax with a guy's mouth below my cockhead so that he doesn't have to take my semen into his mouth if I am excited enough and some of the guys preferred this, while others were ready to swallow my load first time out. The result was that each of my guys eventually began to expect to suck me instead of my sucking each of them. Worst of all, I began to look forward to getting sucked by each of them. I was always ready to suck each of them, but I found I also liked getting sucked off. Sometimes we would 69 and I would often get to finish them after they finished me, but it wasn't quite like sucking the penis of a straight man.
After we had mostly changed positions, I kept on seeing them and my climax became the most important thing in most of our encounters.
So, where are they all today? They are gone, or pretty much gone. I still hear from one or two and I have some new guys, too. But my very favorites have all died. One in a violent car wreck and one from a heart attack, and some have moved to another state, but I do have new applicants , too!
A lot of men including me begin to discover interest in bisexual exploration as the get older. It seems quite natural. Everyones tastes differ of course. For me, the thought of stroking another mans cock is exciting. The thought of sucking a cock gets me hot as well. However, I have no interest in giving or receiving anal sex with a guy. Actually the thought of that is a turn off to me. Also, have no interest in being with a man ho has done anal sex with a guy. Not being judgmental. Just not my thing. And the highest risk factor for HIV is among men who have had anal sex with men.
That risk factor is no longer true in most places (there are small pockets where some communities are not accessing any prevention) in NA because the vast majority of men who have anal sex with men are on ARV's or PrEP/use condoms/are not positive (the information you shared is 10 years out of date for NA but, condom use or better yet, PrEP reduces the risk to small and not at all). The highest risk and fastest growing demographic which absolutely kills me is straight idenitified men and women 18-25. The bum sex thing, it's very common for anyone who lived through the height of the AIDS crisis whether m4m or straight and who grew up in WASP/anglo american culture like I did to react to anal sex the way you do, I was exactly the same (viscerally ill at the thought) but being gay, eventually I had to deal with it because well, the lovers they were not going to have it, and get some therapy which was good for me... that programming against being penetrated as a man stuff starts going in as soon as we are able to understand language and it is deep and personal but I don't see why anyone should have to change that preference unless they want to.
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