Exhibitionist couples and social nudism
Having been to both clothing-optional and nude-obligatory resorts/venues/events - the latter almost exclusively in the past few years - I have noticed a difference in behaviors between the two. Specifically, nude-obligatory attendees in general being more uninhibited than their clothing-optional counterparts. My theory on this is because people at the nude-obligatory venue do not have an easy option of covering up, should they feel a bit self-conscious or "awkward" in social situations. So unless they choose to sit in the back of the pool area and not move all day, they are going to have to accept being seen "completely exposed"; or just leave/not come back. Added to this the fact that they are going to be surrounded by uninhibited folks; which for women can often lead to a "well she's comfortable that way, so I guess it's ok" motivational factor; which can lead to increased confidence being seen "exposed."
As a result, exhibitionist couples can become virtually indistinguishable from couples that might not consider themselves "exhibitionists." A woman sitting by the pool legs open - or practicing group naked Yoga by the pool area - specifically to be seen "wide open", would just be one of several other ladies doing exactly the same, albeit without the same intention.
But the question one might ask is: "are the couples - that are not intently exhibitionistic - still being exhibitionists anyway as a result of their lack of inhibition?" This is where people have a lot of different opinions on what constitutes exhibitionism.
My take on it is that there are "levels" to exhibitionism. For me, there are certainly times where I embrace standing in front of a lounging friend; and them getting a full view of my cock dangling as they look up at me. Same for my wife, who at times will "present" people with unobstructed open-legged views of her bald vulva while interacting with them. During those moments, with both if us being bald and having our "privates" displayed very "publicly", I'm sure an onlooker would think we're an exhibitionist couple. And at the time, we probably are. We're not always willfully completely exposed to other people; but we certainly are not shy when it happens. Call it "exhibitionist-lite."
A lot of nudists are afraid to be perceived as exhibitionists. A lot less so in "nude-obligatory" settings. It's been made into a "dirty word"; but IMHO it can actually be beneficial - in doses. My wife enjoys seeing other women looking at my cock and being responsive to it; and I equally quite enjoy the glances my wife gets when she's interacting with her pussy in full view. It keeps our intimacy vibrant.
I dont know whether the behavior at clubs where nudity is mandatory would be more uninhibited compared to that at clubs that are clothing-optional. It would depend on a number of factors. Is the club affiliated with a national nudist organization? Does the club have rules forbidding overt sexual displays? Do they enforce those rules? Does the club attract a younger population? Is the club rustic or more of a resort? Is the club for adults only? It is an interesting theory though.
I agree with you that there are levels to exhibitionism and that people have different opinions as to what constitutes exhibitionism. While the nudist literature emphasizes the wholesomeness of the lifestyle, the reality is that many nudists also enjoy being seen in a more sexual way.
Hi, thanks for these observations and the open discussion! This is all really interesting and I would like to weigh-in with a few impressions. I don't know if my comments will address the specific question, but I think I may have some very relevant thoughts to share.
I'm someone who "discovered" how much I loved nudity a bit later in life, but after a long period of being **very curious** about it, from the time I was pretty young. I always enjoyed the way it felt to be nude. I would admire my body in the mirror, in my bedroom, as a teenager, and when I got to be home alone I'd often get undressed and walk around the house naked. That felt good, but the missing ingredient, if I'm being honest: I wanted to be seen.
It's a totally natural and perfectly healthy desire, in my opinion. It's simply part of who we are as human beings, and I personally believe it's absolutely wonderful for nudity to be something we can experience together as purely recreational impulse. We're made to feel awkward about it by the social norms around partitioning sexuality off as something that we are only allowed to experience under particular circumstances, and the insistence that nudity is always sexual. So you get the stigma that if you like being seen nude and/or seeing naked people in public then you must be some sort of sex fiend or sexual deviant.
Traditional nudism makes the mistake of attempting to work around this stigma by claiming it isn't **at all** about sex or sexuality. That nudity is simply a matter of "health" and "freedom."
Well... if that's true, then why is it necessarily more "healthy" and why does it feel so much like "freedom?" I would argue that the liberating aspect of how wonderful it feels comes from dropping everyday inhibitions and simply enjoying the way it finally feels to have one's sexuality more "integral," so to speak. As opposed to every situation in life needing to be defined as specifically sexual or non-sexual, and nothing in-between.
So, yeah -- WHY would it be so much MORE "healthy" or "free" to be completely naked as opposed to being **so close** to being naked, with a brief bikini or swimsuit? Like, why would a nudist be so insistent on being totally nude, when normal social rules allow a person to get as undressed as "necessary" to enjoy contact with outdoor elements like sun and water?
To me it's blatantly obvious: so that we can show it all and look at others doing the same. To me, when I first tried it and started getting into it, it really confused me when I came to understand that within the traditional nudist community there was this admonition against even TALKING about sexuality and enjoying nudity on that level AT ALL. It felt a bit like a slap in the face since -- from my POV -- that was a big part of the reason I wanted to try it out. I wanted to show because I enjoy the vibe of sensuality and mellow erotic energy that naturally starts flowing when I walk around, casually, fully nude, in public and out in the warm sun.
That's my whole reason for being on this site instead of that other one. I readily and proudly admit I enjoy exhibitionism and sexuality. Nudity is a central part of my lifestyle, in ALL aspects, including my sexuality. I really enjoy showing my tits and pussy. I like to kick back when I sunbathe and -- yep -- sprawl my legs open not only to offer a generous view but to make it obvious that I welcome appreciative looks. Yes, it is intentional on my part in the sense that it is a warmly comfortable turn-on and a sensual thrill. And all the more fun if, while I'm doing that, I can take the opportunity to gawk at penises :-)
This doesn't mean I'm utterly fixated on sex as an obsession, and it also doesn't mean that I view recreational nudity as something that has to be ALL about sex. It's more like a fun little release valve that helps us feel more whole and comfortable in accepting ourselves. It helps our sexuality become more of a "settled" matter in our souls, where we don't have to feel "weird" about wanting others to see us and maybe, possibly, appreciate us as sexually desirable.
Thank you, Water Lilly. It's good to have a woman's input to these questions.
In my previous posting, I was originally going to ask the following question: Is an attractive-looking young woman who walks around a nudist club without a stitch of clothing being an exhibitionist?
Despite what the official nudist literature says regarding what is considered to be inappropriate behavior, I believe that many nudists, both men and woman, enjoy both the wholesome and the more exhibitionistic aspects. I appreciate how you "enjoy the vibe of sensuality and mellow erotic energy that naturally starts flowing when I walk around, casually, fully nude, in public and out in the warm sun." I also appreciate how you freely admit that you enjoy showing your nude body, including your sexy parts, to others.
I think it's only natural for a woman who enjoys social nudism to feel the same way as you do. She might not admit it to others, but the erotic thrill is there. She may talk about the wholesome aspects, but at least deep inside she knows how much she likes being seen and admired in a more sexual way.
Well this is an interesting discussion brewing..
I enjoyed Waterlilly's response as a women. Honest and wholesome.
I, more than once, have been scorned upon for suggesting to nudists (on TN) that someone that likes to take their clothes off in public must have a touch of exhibition in them. Maybe I'm not understanding the full literal meaning of the word.
I don't mean they are seeking sexual liaisons. But merely that they enjoy to be seen. That's ok isn't it?
As Waterlilly much more eloquently described, she enjoys exposing herself for a sexual tingle.
When men or women take a look at my body and cock, i find it a compliment. It doesn't mean I'm going to act inappropriately, there are plenty of places to enjoy
oneself discreetly.
No it's simply a pleasant, sexualised feeling to be admired while naked.
Well this is an interesting discussion brewing..I enjoyed Waterlilly's response as a women. Honest and wholesome.I, more than once, have been scorned upon for suggesting to nudists (on TN) that someone that likes to take their clothes off in public must have a touch of exhibition in them. Maybe I'm not understanding the full literal meaning of the word.I don't mean they are seeking sexual liaisons. But merely that they enjoy to be seen. That's ok isn't it?As Waterlilly much more eloquently described, she enjoys exposing herself for a sexual tingle.When men or women take a look at my body and cock, i find it a compliment. It doesn't mean I'm going to act inappropriately, there are plenty of places to enjoyoneself discreetly.No it's simply a pleasant, sexualised feeling to be admired while naked.
I have enjoyed that daring "tingle" for years, every time I am nude around others. That being said, I still don't misbehave just because I'm naked. I don't care who claims they are not an exhibitionist; if they are undressed in a nudist setting, I say they have some exhibitionist in them. After all, who among us doesn't enjoy a tingle now and then? I know I do!
It's more like a fun little release valve that helps us feel more whole and comfortable in accepting ourselves. It helps our sexuality become more of a "settled" matter in our souls, where we don't have to feel "weird" about wanting others to see us and maybe, possibly, appreciate us as sexually desirable.
It's definitely nice to have a woman chime in with such honesty and candor.
And much of what was said would certainly resonate with my own wife.
During COVID, the only nudist venue open in our area - for a time - was "adults-only." We had been to AANR clothing-optional resorts up until then, which practiced a more "traditional" version of nudist etiquette. At the "adults-only" venue, nudist etiquette is basically reduced to just two things: "don't bother other people and don't have sex out in the open."
With the lack of "rules" and the smaller crowd of couples, my wife felt she was free and able to experiment a little; in terms of exposure and socialization. She decided to just her body be completely open; and "embrace the spread." That would be the first time she would sunbathe and sit with her legs completely open and her vulva visible to others. And while interacting with some of the other couples there, she found that being seen naked - nook and crannies - did not make her feel vulnerable; it felt sensual - even a bit addictive; as it became clear that she was a bit "hooked" on being exposed during her time there.
And it's also fun. Because it's fun when you're in a group setting where no one takes offense to being looked at while bent over or legs apart; and is totally comfortable being seen exposed while interacting. And contrary to "popular nudist opinion", it didn't lead to "group sex"; as nudists do tend to be respectful of others' boundaries.
My wife is actually fairly modest. Which leads me to believe that in the right setting, like a smaller "adult-only" venue, people would probably be more comfortable embracing the more sensual aspects of social nudity, without feeling they were "breaking nudist etiquette." Is there an element of exhibitionism when embracing the sensual aspects of social nudism? I think everyone has a different opinion on this. I would say it's likely; and it's perfectly ok.
To Sirhoin: You make some very good points concerning nudist venues that are adults-only, especially the ones with a smaller number of members and fewer rules (or less enforcement). Years ago, my wife and I would visit a nudist camp that was very rustic. Although there was nothing in the rules prohibiting children from attending with their parents, the club was essentially adults-only. Members would swim in the pond and sunbathe on the grass. There was no clubhouse or pool. There were at most five other couples there at any one time and usually fewer. We got to know everyone there.
I remember one time when I was sunbathing naked next to my wife. She was chatting with a woman who was sitting on the grass right in front of us. It was early in the day and no one else happened to be around. We knew who she was and we had chatted with her and her husband a few times before, but we still didnt know them very well. Her husband happened to be away that morning running errands.
I found this situation to be very arousing with it just being the three of us. I was lying on my back enjoying the sun and listening to the ladies talk. I let myself become fully erect. Proper nudist etiquette would have been for me to turn onto my stomach to hide my erection but, instead, I decided to remain the way I was. I wanted the woman and my wife to see me.
I quickly weighed a number of factors in my mind. Would the woman be offended? What would her husband think if and when she told him about what happened? Would she complain to the owner? Would I get in trouble? I weighed all of those things and decided that the chance of my getting into serious trouble was minimal. But I didnt know how the woman or her husband would react.
The two women just continued chatting as if nothing were out of the ordinary. Eventually, my erection subsided. Surprisingly, my wife never said anything to me about it afterward.
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